简洁
Highlights from Chapter 7 <<Style – Toward Clarity and Grace>> by Joseph Williams
1.
To write clearly, we have to know not only how to manage the flow of ideas but also how to express them concisely. These two principles are easier to state than to follow.
1) Usually, compress what you mean into the fewest words.
2) Don’t state what your reader can easily infer.
Example: In my personal opinion, we must listen to and think over in a punctilious manner each and every suggestion that is offered to us.
Correction: We must consider each suggestion carefully.
2.
Simple Sources of Wordiness
1) Redundant Pairs
full and complete,
true and accurate,
hopes and desires,
hope and trust,
each and every,
first and foremost,
any and all,
various and sundry,
basic and fundamental,
questions and problems,
and so on and so forth.
2) Redundant Modifiers
completely finish,
past memories,
various different,
each individual,
basic fundamentals,
true facts,
important essentials,
future plans,
personal beliefs,
consensus of opinion,
sudden crisis,
terrible tragedy,
end result,
final outcome,
initial preparation,
free gift,
revolve around,
return back,
penetrate into,
split apart,
progress forward,
continue on.
3) Redundant Categories
period of time,
pink in color,
shiny in appearance,
large in size,
of a bright color,
heavy in weight,
round in shape,
at an early time,
of a cheap quality,
honest in character,
of an uncertain condition,
in a confused state,
unusual in nature,
extreme in degree,
of a strange type,
in an accurate manner -> accurately
4) Meaningless Modifiers
kind of,
really,
basically,
definitely,
practically,
actually,
virtually,
generally,
certain,
particular,
individual,
given,
various,
different,
specific,
for all intents and purposes.
5) Pompous Diction
Contingent upon -> dependent on
Endeavor -> try
Utilization -> use
Termination -> end
Initiate -> begin
Is desirous of -> wants
Cognizant of -> aware of
Ascertain -> find out
Facilitate -> help
Implement -> start, carry out, begin
Deem -> think
Envisage -> think, regard, see
Advert to -> mention
Apprise -> inform
Eventuate -> happen
Transpire -> happen
Render -> make, give
Transmit -> send
Prior to -> before
Subsequent to -> after
6) Complex Wordiness
a) Belaboring the Obvious
Example: Imagine a picture of someone engaged in the activity of trying to learn the rules for playing the game of chess.
Correction: Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess.
Example: When you write down your ideas, keep in mind that the audience that reads what you have to say will infer from your writing style something about your character.
Correction: Keep in mind that your readers will infer from your style something about your character.
3. Metadiscourse
to summarize, on the contrary, I believe;
first, second, more importantly;
note that, consider now, in order to understand.
Too much:
The last point I would like to make here is that in regard to . . . it is important to keep in mind that . . . probably . . . seem to . . .
1) Hedges and Emphatics
Common hedges:
usually, often, sometimes, almost, virtually, possibly, perhaps, apparently, seemingly, in some ways, to a certain extent, sort of, somewhat, more or less, for the most part, for all intents and purposes, in some respects, in my opinion at least, may, might, can, could, seem, tend, try, attempt, seek, hope.
Common emphatics:
as everyone knows, it is generally agreed that, it is quite true that, it’s clear that, it is obvious that, the fact is, as we can plainly see, literally, clearly, obviously, undoubtedly, certainly, of course, indeed, inevitably, very, invariably, always, key, central, crucial, basic, fundamental, major, cardinal, primary, principal, essential.
2) Sequencers and Topicalizers
Example: In this next section of this report, it is my intention to deal with – – ‘ “…”, …. the problem of noise pollution. The first thing I want to say is that noise pollution is . . . .
Correction: The next problem is noise pollution. It . . .
3) Attributors and Narrators
I was concerned with …, so I attempted … I have concluded … It is my opinion that the … The main point supporting my point of view on this case concerns …
Unless your subject matter is the way you arrived at your observations or conclusion, you can usually be more concise and direct if you simply present the most salient observations and conclusions, minus the metadiscourse or narrative.
4) Not the negative
not many -> few
not the same -> different
not different -> alike/similar
did not -> failed to
does not have -> lacks
did not stay -> left
not old enough -> too young
did not remember -> forgot
did not consider -> ignored
did not allow -> prevented
did not accept -> rejected
not clearly -> unclearly
not possible -> impossible
not able -> unable
not certain -> uncertain
It is especially important to avoid using negatives along with implicitly negative verbs and connecting words such as these:
verbs: preclude, prevent, lack, fail, doubt, reject, avoid; deny, refuse, exclude, contradict, prohibit, bar, etc.
conjunctions: except, unless, provided, however; without, against, lacking, absent, but for.
X may not do Y unless/except/without doing Z:
-> X may do Y only if X does Z.
-> In order to do Y, X must do Z.